If you're over 40, the knowing-doing gap might be killing someone you love. Here’s 4 things you can do to support them.
Behaviour is considered to be voluntary, but clearly that is not even close to the whole picture or every alcoholic, drug addict and smoker would just stop when those behaviours ceased serving them (and I’d be able to leave a tub of ice-cream in the freezer unfinished).
As we age we have less of a gap between unhealthy behaviour and its consequences. Things you could ignore when you were 20 will start to bite you on the arse when you're 40, 50 or 60. GPs don't check cholesterol in healthy 18 year olds, they check 50 year olds for a reason.
Change is 100% possible and the damage from unhealthy habits can be undone.
Health damaging behaviours are difficult to stop and healthy habits are hard to start and keep going. It takes more than good intentions to change habits.
The Intention-Behaviour Gap:
The intention-behaviour gap refers to the difference between what a person intends to do and what the person actually does.
The support someone needs will relate to where they are now on the intention-behaviour spectrum. The spectrum: Awareness, Desire, Knowledge, Ability, Reinforcement
👉 If the person has yet to think about the need for change, focus on increasing awareness and desire (why should I do it & how does the new behaviour align with their values and self-image).
👉 If the person has the intention to change, they need a plan. This may involve knowledge gathering (what are the options), trying out something new, skill acquisition (building ability) and establishing they can do this and be successful (build confidence upon mini-successes)
👉 If the person has a plan, then their attempts should be reinforced and supported with positive encouragement. Tracking measurable progress helps to objectively demonstrate success. Accountability is important at this stage.
👉 Relapse: Have a plan for what happens when the new habit fails and relapse occurs. Set this up as something that is expected to happen. Treat it as a data point, dig into the why it happened so you can come up with a strategy to overcome this situation in future. Then immediately run the ‘getting back on track’ protocol so a small relapse doesn’t become a spiral into self hatred and self-destructive behaviours.
Photo by <a href="https://buff.ly/3RtHFLG">Markus Spiske</a> on <a href="https://buff.ly/3RevAuw">Unsplash</a>
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